


Lowlife

by ImmigrantPhenomenon



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blood Kink, Blood and Injury, Cock & Ball Torture, Daddy Kink, Double Anal Penetration, Double Penetration, Drinking Games, Drowning, Electrocution, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Heavy BDSM, Injury Recovery, Large Cock, M/M, Mind Games, Mind/Mood Altering Substances, Multi, No Lube, Non-Consensual, Oral Sex, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Rape/Non-con, Public Blow Jobs, Public Humiliation, Public Sex, Rape Roleplay, Rough Sex, Sex Games, Sex Toys, Shameless Smut, Shower Sex, Smut, Vaginal Sex, Violence, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-05-15 04:37:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14783706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmigrantPhenomenon/pseuds/ImmigrantPhenomenon
Summary: A game to see who was kinkier. To see who would spread their legs wider for the money, or the fame, or whatever they were offered. A game to see who had secrets, and how far they'd go to keep them.It was to see if people like John, would be willing to bend over backwards with sexual demands or force someone else to do it. A game of trust, and a game of erotic choices.Twenty-six whores, asked the same question.Would you rather?





	1. Highlight Of My Lowlife

**Author's Note:**

> It's hard to describe what's going on in this fic. I labeled it as Rape/Non-con, but that's not exactly true, it's just to be safe.

John clutched his letter close to his chest, heart beat it wildly beneath his skin.

It was like he was in a movie, sweaty palms going cold with fear, wiping them on his pants before knocking on the large left half of the double doors towering over him, ignoring the knocker.

The wind blew his ponytail back against his face, the curls brushing widely over his cheeks and face, making his skin crawl. It was around midnight, last he checked his phone before shoving it deep into his duffle bag, the constant creaking of the wilderness around him a constant reminder that he should stay vigilant. The moon shown on his face, making his skin glow prettily in the moonlight, paler than he had been before.

He bit his lip, swallowing the nervous bike that threatened to gag him. He hated how much this reminded him of his old home, where his father housed so many parties only for people to end up drunk in his bedroom with him. In a weak attempt to marry off his oldest son, when came out to him just the night before, John absolutely has had enough of it. He cut of ties with his father, leaving him penniless on the streets of New York, but those memories still haunted him quite sufficiently.

It was scary, how detailed the note was, having just barely escaped South Carolina, he had no idea what he was doing on the streets or what he was going to do when a man in a black suit appeared, said nothing, just handed him a pristine card, wrapped in red paper like a gift.

Quite clearly, it read,

_We are quite aware of the unfortunate situation that we have found you to be in._

_It is in our greatest pleasure to escort you to a dinner, and of the court… a game._

_Our kind help those like you, alone, desperate for money or love or merely attention._

_The rules are simple. You get one bag, any size, shape, color, etc. You may fill it with anything you desire to bring with you over the course of the week, for you will not be allowed to leave._

_You're getting your options now. Take a chance at a better life, and risk everything you own OR live you pathetic life just as it is._

_Best of luck, and best of choices._

 

_~ WE_

 

They somehow knew he had nowhere to go, nowhere to be. They made a meal sound so mouthwateringly tempting, the thought of having somewhere warm to live for a week cutting out the fact that he had no idea what he just sighed himself up for.

The wind howled in his ear, shivering in front of the too big door attached to the too large house with way too many bedrooms. The amount of windows painting the stone, castle-like fortress was a little concerning, why would someone need that many bedrooms?

He looked down the path, he had practically done all the uphill and it would be much easier to go back down than it was coming up. He could make it back to those dusty, dirty, New York streets in no time and possibly find a nice alleyway to take shelter in.

God, what was he thinking? Was he really going to walk into some rich strangers house, probably get murdered, and then some? He gazed at the large knocker, up to high for him to reach, one last time. He spun around on his heels, faced only by the growing darkness of the cemented pathway and creepy foliage. He'd have to climb that fence again, either impale himself on the metal points of the gate or pull another acrobatic stunt just to fling himself over the brick wall.

He sighed, pulling his flyaways back with his hand and pressing his fingers into his aching temples.

He finally decided to leave, taking the emptiness of the doorway a sign that he should leave, closing one fist around his bag and the other around the note. _That fucking note_ , he should've known it was too good to be true, tears swelling in his eyes, making them cold against the wind.

This was his only chance to get back on his feet instead of running back to his homophobic father and begging on his knees forgiveness. So he hesitated, plopping his bag at his feet, he pulled the card out of it's rosey envelope.

This hesitation would either make him or break him. As he would soon learn, hesitation is not an option.

A split moment later, not even enough time to take in a full breath of air, the door shot open like a bullet, revealing a man not much taller than he.

He looked frantic, scared, his brown hair tied back in a ponytail that was even looser than his, tan skin glowing in the golden light of the lamps inside the building. His stubble made him increasingly attractive, taking a step forward John picked up his bag. He took another step towards the house, realizing just how heavily the man was breathing.

“No-” he gasped, sticking his hand out. But it never left the doorway, and neither did his body. “You have to leave- please.” He whined, eyes pleading.

John's eyebrows scrunched together in scared confusion, stopping his assent. The man looked tired with large backs under his eyes and his skin flushed yet dulled at the same time. The parts of his arms and face that weren't beating red were extremely white, hoping that maybe it was the faux candle light messing with his vision.

“You coming here makes it final, please, just leave!” He was crying now, the tears spilling down his pale cheeks and over his lips that have been bit raw.

John was about to ask for his name or an answer, when footsteps echoed around them. The man moan something high pitched and scared, giving John one last pleading look before he was pushed aside by a buff hand, body completely disregarded, toppling to the floor like a stack of bricks.

The buffer man, almost as tall as the doors, towered over him in a black suit, sunglasses matching to cover his eyes. His lack of hair made it almost cliche, the goon probably not the powerhouse of this game. He extended his arm, which turned out to be rather short, chubby fingers wrapping around the wrist with the card in it, yanking John into the building with just as much force as the other had been tossed to the side.

The doors slammed behind him, locking the three in from the outside.

John feared he should have been a lot more scared than he was, looking around the building with delicate ease. The hired guard pulled the other man off the wooden floor like a Barbie doll, making it seem like he weighed nothing.

“That's the third time this week, Alexander.” His voice was gruff, as expected, “This will not go unpunished.”

“It never does.” He muttered, shooting a desperate look in John's direction. The escort dropping him helplessly back in his previous position on the ground, letting his groan at the forceful contact of being dropped.

John let his stuff fall, sliding to the man- Alexander- on the floor.

“Are you alright?” He tried to pull him up, but his body was limp, getting a whimper in response. “Alexander?” He pulled on arm over his shoulder, helping him stand.

“Call me Alex.” He whispered, focusing on keeping his shaking legs tucked beneath him. “You really should've run when I told you to.”

John's face curled up again, “Why? I don't understand, what did you mean by 'my coming here makes it final’?”

Alex grimaced, opening his mouth to speak, but any words that came out were drowned in a loud siren, calling them somewhere. Alex gasped, telling John to leave his stuff where it was and help him get to the dinner table.

Leading Alex through the room, John finally got a good look at the house. Everything was decorated lavishly, just looking rich by the amount of antics inside glass cases littered around the house. The first thing he noticed upon entering was the large staircase up the middle, meeting the front door and curling into a platform that was the second floor. A red and gold tassel carpet covered the space between the floor and the stairs, then up the steps, the railings match I the fence he had to climb to get in.

Alex pointed him to the right, leading him into a room that housed two of the windows, decorated with a dark red couch, a matching carpet and chairs, along with a dark wood table. One of the various knick-knack cabinets seated on the far wall.

Slipping behind the couch, John lead them into another room where the floor changed from wood to a white tile, porcelain diamonds connect by gray stripes.

“Where are we going?” The sirens for louder, reminding him of the tornado drills he had to do during school in South Carolina.

“Dining room.” Alex grunted, shifting his weight as they walked. “That call happens every night. We have free roam to do whatever we please, but we _always_ have to sit together for dinner.”

John grimaced, the statement giving him for questions than answers. “We?” He whispered, pushing through another door.

“All twenty-six of us.”

“ _Twenty-six._ ” John's hoarse voice made his throat vibrate. He swallowed choking down his surprise. “There's that many people here?”

“Has been for a month.”

John stiffened his body when he walked through the final door, giving up on trying to understand. He barely even understood why he was in this house in the first place. He wanted to know everything, everything about this man tied to his arm, the fact that he'd been caught doing something at the door three times and how he was to be punished for it. He wanted to know how long the others have been here, waiting, wanting or desperately trying to push off the start of this game.

And he just realized he hasn't told Alexander his name. “I'm John, by the way. John Laurens.”

“You’re our third John.” He chuckled, “I'm sure you heard, but I'm Alexander, Hamilton, but you can call me Alex.”John walked up to a small pale door, attached at the hinges like bar door, able to swing open both ways. Before he could push through it though, Alex stuck out his hand. “Listen to me John.”

He turned his head, worried by the dark tone he'd taken, even more unnerved by the tightening of his grip around his arm. He pulled him closer, letting him know he was listening.

“These people, the ones you're going to see sitting at this table, they're not normal. We were all invited here because we need something, something we aren't willing to give up. For most of us it's money, enough to live like the rich for the rest of our lives, but for those others- they're the ones you don't want to mess with.”

John gripped him tighter, suddenly wanting the proximity. “Why are you telling me this?”

“You're the last of the twenty-six we need to start the game, okay? That means these people are going to play to win. Hell, we don't even know what we're playing but we do _not_ want to lose.” He paused, “I know we just met, and of these five minutes we've know each other, half of them were me practically attacking you in the doorway, but I need you to trust me when I say this.”

John's hand never slacked, his nimble, artist fingers tight around his shoulder. He nodded. “I trust you. I don't know what's going to happen beyond those doors, but you'll tell me, right?”

“Tonight. You'll be given a bedroom, the last one available. Mine’s the fifth one down from the left. Just as yours'll be the twenty-sixth from the left or the first from the right. I'll meet in yours, and tell you everything you need to know.”

“Okay, okay.” John spoke with gained confidence. “Okay.”

“Just promise me one thing.” John turned his head to the voice, facing Alex head on for the first time. Sparks flew, making his heart ache. Feelings likes this, these were the exact reason he was in this situation in the first place. “Don't listen to anyone until I can tell you the whole story. Please, promise me this.”

“What do you mean-?”

“Just promise me.”

John bit his tongue. This man really was the only shot he had. "Okay." A pause, "I promise."

Alex pulled his arm back, painfully bearing his own weight, shivering at the lack of warmth connected to him. He gave another glance before pushing through the door, leaving John to his swiveled thoughts.

He sucked in another breath, closing his eyes. Tonight he was going to get his answers. He just had to sit through a peaceful dinner with twenty-something strangers, all with different motives and different goals.

He rolled his eyes, he'd been fine. Except, none of this could explain the sudden longing he felt for the man he'd met only moments ago, or the fearlessness coursing through his veins. He should feel attacked, scared, worried about what was going to happen once he was officially part of the game… but he wasn't.

Maybe this is what Alex was talking about. These people could feel it too, the restless need to be better, to not show their fears or weaknesses. Maybe Alex was the only one who was able to see past the facade, or maybe he was just pulling on John’s leash, but for now, Alex was all he had.

Instead of letting fear take hold of him, to leave him on the sidewalks and empty boxes of the street, he pushed open that door.

And what a sight he was met with.

There was no particular order to the way people scrambled about, at least not one John could see, but they all filed into particular seats, flooding the room with shuffling noises. Alex was already seated, the table cut in half, thirteen on each side, sitting in the third place down on the left. Everyone followed, a large man, dark skin and hair with a bandana tied around his head and looking larger than the both of them combined, sat beside him. Next to he, a petite girl, with wavy brown locks falling over her shoulders, purposely covering one eyes, occupied the first space.

This continued until all the seats were full, except for the last one on the right. The twenty-sixth. And John wasn’t stupid, after the arrangement it was easy to see the pattern. Assuming they were all given a number, most likely upon arrival based on him being the twenty-sixth, and the fact that Alex’s room was number five, then they were arranged in order with evens on one side and odds on the other.

He didn’t wait for anyone to tell him to take his seat, settling next to an older man who’s dark hair was already greying. He eyed Alex, words twisting around his mind like a rope, tightening their embrace. _Don’t listen to anyone until I tell you the whole story_.

There was no food, everyone waiting in a silence they didn’t dare break, chewing on their lips. Everyone sat on edge, waiting for the bang, or at least the siren to stop going off.

When it finally happened, everyone jumped in their seats, noticing the normally empty chair was full, and a shadowed body approaching the door. The voice was deep, definitely not female, and not someone they wanted to mess with.

His face was lost to a veil, the shape of his body hidden with a box-like covering, everything completely anonymous. It made John shiver, fear and excitement dancing up his spine.

“I am sure, you’ve all noticed…” He rasped. He sounded like a smoker, the veil moving with every breath. _At least now they knew he was human_. “The last suitor has finally arrived.”

All eyes turned to John, angry, deceitful, wondering, angelic eyes of all shapes and colors, the only pair getting met being Alex’s, a warm brown to keep him calm. Alex nodded, grimacing.

“Now, you may finally be getting the answers you so crave.” An excited murmur erupted, but John could pick out some concern, and even the silence of a certain somebody. “The first round starts tomorrow. Called at different times, you will be divided into teams. Those left standing at the end of the week shall be given their due.”

John swallowed, glancing to Alex. They came to the same conclusion at once, _they needed allies._ This wasn’t a free-for-all anymore, and that could either be something good, or incredibly bad.

After everyone seem to calm down the shadowed figure took a step back, when the man at John’s side stood. Everyone waited, watching the head of the table stepped forward again, waiting for him.

John noticed the guys clenched fists, face angry, body shaking with it all. “What the _actual_ fuck!” He slammed his fist on the table, making John fall to the floor in surprise. He hit the ground with an ‘oof’ deciding it better to stay there, than add to the scene. “We’ve already been waiting for _months_ , and now that he’s finally here-” He made a rather crude gesture to John, still on the floor, “And we have to wait longer? I don’t have time for this! I have a life I could be living- I’m done!” He screeched, pushing his chair away with his legs.

“Stephen, listen to me.” The raspy voice started again.

“No! I’m done with your fucking games!” He took a step away, “I’m finished with this, I’m out of here.”

“I advise that you sit in your sit.” Another step. “Stephen, sit back down.” He continued to the door. “Don’t make me do this, I would really rather not.” But he didn’t listen still headed for the door.

There was a small beat, John’s heart pounding faster than he could handle, a voice in his head telling him to cover. Then there was a scream, before he could even process anything, the high pitched shrill reaching his ears. He curled up on the floor, covering his face from the sound, then a loud _bang_.

The body fell right next to him on the floor, head split open by a circular hole straight down the middle.

His eyes went wide with horror, letting out his own cry, bolting away from the body. More screams joined him, and he somehow found himself on the other side of the table, nestled between the legs of a tall, toned, muscled body. His was shaking so violently, hands still covering his ears, as he whimpered nonsensically, letting the strangers arms wrap around him and bring him to his lap.

There were more shouts around him, only curling further into the tight embrace, sobbing loudly and openly with a few other ladies, and some men, clutching the sweetly scented shirt. One hand found his hair, pulling it from its tight bun and spreading his fingers through it, pulling out the tangles as he screamed into his shirt, chest heaving.

He wasn’t sure when he was able to regain himself, but when he did he heard a gasp by his ear, Alex’s body shaking next to his as he wiggled his way into the mands grip, whimpering something that sounded like ‘Laugh, Laugh, Laugh’, only making John more hysterical.

Somewhere in the room a girl cried, “You shot him!” Voice high and cracking, “You’re going to shoot _us_!” She screamed.

“No.” The voice replied, “Only those who do not listen.” He continued, when the screams were reduced to small whimpers, “I know you are not afraid of what I am to offer you. If you want to live, you’ll do as I say, and I know you’ll do as I say.”

Somewhere deep in his mind, it made sense. He chose those kinds of people who would be willing to do what he said for money. Those who wouldn't hesitate to hold a gun to somebody's head, or even those who wouldn't hesitate to finger themselves open because none of them cared anymore. Who gave a second fuck if they were caught, naked and spread for someone, if that had nothing left to lose? They didn't.

He chose the thick-skinned, ready to use whores who were _into_ that kind of stuff.

“I will not kill you and I will not make you uncomfortable. It may sound strange now, but just think on it.” He turned around, letting everyone shake their breaths of relief. “And one last thing.” They paused, “Virgins might want to prepare yourself.”

…

His room was easy to find, just where Alex said it was, up the stairs and to the right. They were all in a long strip, door by door down the hall. He jumped into his enthusiastically, opening the door.

It vaguely reminded him of a hotel room, perfect white sheets on a cream bedspread, pillows to match and the homely golden glow of a lamp. It sat on the nightstand, a desk next to that, equipped with a computer. Normally he would've thought something like that to be foolish, giving his captured contestants something like this, but he knew it was probably monitored. There's no way they have completely free range, all he needed was for Alex to make good on his word so they could unravel this together.

He bag sat on the bed, moving to unzip it, a small piece of paper caught his eye.

He should've known.

He could almost feel every single little voice in his head, all their miniature hands beating down on him for being so stupidly selfish. There was a pen, now in his hand, and a name now on the paper. A consent form.

He did read it carefully, either way, and it said of they were unable to complete an action they would be released, but they would lose everything. Even the things they already had.

And maybe the murder was staged, there was no way to prove it, and with his name on that form, he was completely safe.

He'd be in so much trouble. Not only did he get lured to the van with candy, but he jumped right in and spread his legs. He could take anything, he knew he could, after going through the shit that was his family and now, he was just getting paid to do it. He fell onto the bed, disregarding the signed piece of paper.

He look up at the blank ceiling, suddenly very aware of what he was doing. He covered his eyes with his hands, blocking out everyone and everything, not willing to face the giggles unintentionally leaving his throat.

This was all _stupidly funny_ . Maybe it was his father's fault. _Virgins better prepare themselves_ . He was a virgin, and somehow this only intrigued him more. He was trying to defy everything his father's ever taught him, because he was worth nothing to John any more. It became increasingly obvious the sadistic son-of-a-bitch who was running the game was going to get a kick out of sex dares and John didn't care. He _wanted to_ . He wished his father would _watch_ , see his son, getting fucked senseless by someone else just because they were told to, for money, _like a prostitute_.

Another laugh bubbled out of him. The irony, it was almost painful.

He almost punched himself to stop the laughing when a knock sounded from his door. He didn't remember locking it, or if it even had a lock, shouting, “Come in!”

The door peaked open a crack, revealing the familiar stubble and warm brown eyes of Alexander Hamilton.

“You came.” John said, almost dizzily. “I think I'm going crazy.” He whispered when Alex closed the door, something clicking. _So there were locks._

“Aren't we all.” Alex snorted, moving to sit on the end of the bed John was spread eagle on.

He sat up, opening his arms and crossing his legs. He made a small motion for Alex to come sit in his lap, smiling. “I need to feel something.”

Alex quiricked up an eyebrow, crawling towards him nonetheless. “So you wanna feel me up.” He stated, stopping right in front of him.

“No.” John wrapped his arms around Alex's torso, barely reaching him, but making no move to pull him closer. “I want to feel something warm,” Alex grinned, moving to straddle him, laying his head on his shoulder. “Something human.” John corrected himself with a content sigh.

Alex clicked his tongue, feeling John's unease. “Are you scared?” the question garbled by John's shoulder.

“I'm not.” But he didn't sound it, voice quaking slightly. “But I feel like I should be.”

“Same.” Alex looked up, his frown twisting. It looked shy, almost cute. “So…”

“So?”

“Are you a virgin?”

John's eyes went wide, spluttering. He was, yes, but was it that obvious? And who even asked a question like that, even to someone they've known their entire lives, and they just met. Except, John did feel a particular closeness to Alex, something he wanted, needed to live off.

“Don't laugh.” John scolded, removing his arms from around Alex's waist. He crossed them over his chest instead, tilting his head like a toddler. Alex tried his best not to laugh at that alone, biting his lip.

“I'm not gonna laugh.” But the smile was evident.

“Yes.” John sighed, closing his eyes. “I'm a virgin.” There was a short pause, not even long enough for Alex to take in a breath, “What about you?”

A wolfish grin spread across his face, and John realized asking him that might not have been one of his brightest decisions. But, it seemed, today was a good day to make mistakes.

“Absolutely not. In fact, the last time I fucked someone was a week ago. There very same guy you were crawling up in the dining hall.”

John would've normally flushed red, mouth fall open, or his cheeks puff up, but at the mention of diner, a silence fell over them. His senses shut down, remembering the very awake, yet extremely dead eyes, glazed over and staring straight at him. The blood pouring out and the stains on his face.

He shivered, Alex's body shaking with it. “I'm sorry John, I shouldn't have-”

“It's fine.” He cut in, hands fidgeting. His eyebrows creased, a weird feeling washing over him. He wasn't _not_ fine, he wasn't really anything right now. There was no heat to his skin or life in his body. He just felt empty, the simple statement draining him of anything that made him human. “We'd have to talk about it eventually.”

“But it didn't have to be so soon.” Alex protested. John was actually starting to wonder if this was even an apology anymore, starting to get the feeling Alex just wanted to win.

“Alex, I said it was fine, just drop it.”

John didn't think he had a 'mean voice’ but if he did, he was certainly putting it to use.

“Sorry.” Alex whispered, making a move to get off Alex's lap.

John reached for his arm, suddenly missing the receding contact. “No, Alex,” he pulled him back. Alex's face shook, looking paler than it had. There were tears in his eyes. “I'm sorry, it’s not your fault… are you okay?”

“Yeah… I, uh, may have lied earlier.” John hummed in acknowledgment, pulling him back into his lap. “I’m scared. It’s just-” His voice cracked, running a finger through his hair. It looked different out of it’s tie, falling elegantly over his shoulders despite the mess it was in, “Wow, I didn’t expect to get so emotional with you- I-” He chuckled, tears slipping down his cheeks. I’m sorry, I really am.”

“No, keep going.” John leaned closer, “I like hearing you talk.”

“Wha- that’s going to get old. Trust me.” John giggled, heart swelling, “But seriously. How fast they killed him… it’s a little concerning.” He wiped his face of the fresh tears, not bothering with the dried stains from before. A small thought crossed his mind at that, turning to look at the door. “I should probably go-” He broke the previous sentence, conversation derailing, “After a certain time they lock all our doors… from the outside, until morning.”

He swung his head to the side, stopping himself from kicking over his legs when an arm wrapped around his wrist. “You could always stay.”

Alex’s head whipped back so fast, it hurt, finding the voice without the face. John refused to look at him, excessive amounts of heat flooding his cheeks. “I would…”

“But?”

Alex never stopped looking at him, watching the way his shoulders sagged and his face paled. “I normally sleep with Laf.”

John’s never pulled away from someone so fast, like Alex was the flame of a candle, he pushed his body off his, hands coiled around his chest. He looked horrified, tears brimming in his eyes in a way that proved he was holding them back, quivering back when Alex made a move to touch him.

“Right… he’s the one you mentioned earlier at din- nevermind. It’s fine, just go.”

“I can still stay-” He tried to reason. He’s never thought of his relationship with Lafayette as dating, just blowing off some steam. It was like he was _required_ to sleep with him, he just had to sleep with _someone_. It kept the nightmares away.

“No, we wouldn’t want to keep your boyfriend waiting.” John snarled, teeth bared to the floor. Not once had he ever been so aggressive. This house really was fucking with him.

“He’s not my boyfriend John!” Alex was standing now, voice splintering from yelling.

“Oh, so now you have commitment issues?”

“ _John!_ ”

“Gah- fuck!” Alex gazed down at him, mind flinging slightly. He gasped, catching a quick one-over of his body. “I’m sorry!” He screamed, but Alex’s mind was already wandering. He was always looking for a solution, or the cause, using body language as a key.

He was taught this pretty young, on accident really, in one of his foster homes. He had a deaf brother, had to learn basic sign language to help him, but the family didn’t care. Alex taught himself how to communicate, so his brother taught him a few tricks of his own. He learned how to tone out noise, pickup on small signals normal people wouldn't be triggered by. Like when someone lies, Alex learned they always have a set off. Always twist their fingers, or play with the hem of their shirt. It’s constant.

He also learned something for pain, anger, discomfort. John played with practiced motions of his fingers, his movements stiff, jerky. He was _trying_ not to get mad, and to keep himself from doing it he was hurting himself. He also noticed the way he kicked the bed, forcing his ankle to cut into the side of the bed.

“I’m staying.” Alex whispered, declaring something small. He put a hand on John’s shoulder, ignoring the flinch. “I don’t need him right now, I need you.”

John gasped, curls flinging maddly. He met Alex’s gaze, tears streaming down his face. “What about what’s his face-” John mumbled, thick orbs pouring down his cheeks.

“Lafayette keeps the nightmares away. But I can see you need that too, so I’m staying.”

“Alex…”

“Don’t try to change my mind. I'm not leaving.”

“Alex what if-” he hiccuped, “What if you bring him here?”

…

Lafayette was very tall.

John hadn't noticed it when he was sitting in his lap. He didn't notice a lot of things while he was sitting in his lap, like the fact that he was sitting in his lap.

He had dark curly hair, tied back in a ponytail, eyes dark and controlling. John might've actually been scared if it was for the endearing way he tugged at Alex's shirt, or the way he wrapped them around his short torso, bending to reach it.

“John Laurens.” He extended his hand, trying to plaster a smile that wouldn't shake with nerves.

Lafayette giggled, taking his palm and flipping it face down. He took it to his lips, kissing the back. John’s mouth fell open as he pulled away, sweeping him close.

“ _Oui, Je suis Gilbert Du Motier Marquis De Lafayette_.” John looked dizzy, he felt dizzy, smiling stupidly at the French. He barely heard when he continued, “But you may call me Lafayette, or merely Laf.”

“Laf.” John echoed, glancing at Alex. “When did you arrive here? At the institute I mean.” John broke the ice, moving the conversation to his bed. Laf sat next to John, Alex crossing his legs on the floor below them.

“I do not recall,” His accent made John quiver, a shivering running up his spine, “I do believe I am number twelve, if that is any help.” He looked rather wary, watching Alex kick his leg stiffly.

“Are you uncomfortable?” John tensed suddenly, hands twitching.

“Of course not, little one…” He bit his lip at the name. “It is just-”

“Lafayette isn't the most easygoing person.” Alex coughed, lifting a brow, “He just needs to get to know you. So, give him a reason.”

John twitched again, the words stinging. He _wanted_ this man to want to trust him. The strangeness extending from Alex to him, making him feel things he's never felt for anyone else. It was creepy, the way he needed to dig his fingernails into his palms to keep from doing anything stupid.

“I'm a virgin.” John blurted.

Alex's mouth fell open in a howl, eyes going wide as he dissolved in laughter. Lafayette gave a short little snort, covering his nose and mouth with his hand. John blushed red, unsure of where to continue the conversation with his sudden outburst.

“Well Laf is most certainly not!” Alex gasped between giggles.

“Alexander!”

“It's true-!”

“You are so crude, _Mon Chou,_ why is he letting you stay?” Alex shrugged, turning to John with a smirk. A smirk that didn’t sit well with John.

“Yeah, John. Why _are_ you letting me stay?” He winked, _like he knew_ John was falling head over heels for a stranger like a stupid RomCom.

John pouted, “You look like a cuddler.” He stated simply, pulling him onto the bed. “So why’d you stay Alexander, do you normally fondle with strangers?” Alex allowed Laf and John to wrap their arms around him, snuggling into the embrace he knew so well mixed with something a little spicier.

“Do you have to put it like that?”

“I very much must.”

Lafayette giggled at their exchanged, “Now you know, Alex what it is like to have a chat with yourself.” John smiled, pulling Alex’s hair off his shoulders. He leaned against the clothed headboard of his bed, stuffing a pillow beneath his back. He brought Alex closer, beginning a braid in his short hair.

“Okay, so.” John started, grunting when he came across a knot. He brushed it out with his fingers, hearing Alex give a pleased sigh. “I want to know everything you think is going to happen tomorrow.”

Lafayette looked scandalized, “And how do you expect we would know?” John merely rolled his eyes, yanking Alex’s hair sharply. He must’ve missed the moan Alex covered.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Frenchy.” He pointed a finger, “What did you say you were? Twelve, and Alex is Five. You've been here forever, so you obviously know _something_. I want to know what to expect.”

“Expect sex.” Alex grit, “This guy’s definitely got a thing for getting us naked.” John felt it should’ve been more of a surprise, but it held no particular place in his mind.

“Whaddya mean?”

“I mean, it’s obvious he’s trying to make something happen between us- take this for example.” John held his breath through the pause, ears perking in attention, “There’s only four bathrooms in the entire building. _Four_. For twenty-six people. And-! And he only gives us a certain amount of time before we have to come downstairs for breakfast.”

“... I’m not getting it.”

“Well, there’s more. Be patient.” Alex let out a breath. “Two of the bathrooms are in rooms. Yours and Thirteen's. So if those people are bitches, that only leaves two bathrooms for the other twenty-four and, let’s say, thirty minutes to get ready.”

Lafayette shivered, “I’ve seen too many naked bodies in one shower than there ever should be.” He tagged.

“There goes my dream for a gangbang.” Their heads whipped around, grins slapped straight off to stare at a smirking John dead in the eye. His poker face could only hold up for so long, lips stuttering as he broke into a fit of involuntary laughs for the umpteenth time. “I’m _kidding_! Omigosh you guys looked like I bought you a puppy for Christmas.”

“Don’t do that!” Alex whined, pouting and curling around him like they’ve known each other for years.

“You are quite the tease, and I still barely know you.” Lafayette scolded.

“We can change that.” John purred, resting his chin on Alex's shoulder and sticking out his tongue.

“This is exactly what I am saying!”

“Come on, wouldn't you like to play with a _virgin_.”

“Oh fuck, if you keep talking like that I'm going to come right here, right now.” Alex whimpered, shaking in his lap.

“My mind is rather caught on your virgin ideas of a gangbang.” Lafayette said, the slightest hints of sass in his voice. “What other kinks must you have? Your mind must be far too dirty to know of such a thing.”

“How about we ask about what other kinks _you_ have. Except for your little virgin hard-on.” John pushed Alex off his lap, getting on his hands and knees. Arms outstretched like a cat, ass in the air, face nudging Lafayette's thigh. “Got a thing for collars? Lingerie?”

Laf shook his head, “This is not about me, little one. Why not focus on you, are even Alex. He is starting to get desperate.”

He pointed a long finger behind him, where Alex had began rutting into John's leg. “Oh please, Laf-” Alex gasped, biting his lip, “Tell him what gets you going, _daddy._ ”

“Daddy!” John chirped. “Oh, daddy, please _ah_ , fuck me-”

Alex slapped him, “Tease.”

John stopped, mid fake-moan, turning his head to meet Alex. He gave a lopsided grin then turned back to find Lafayette's hand in his hair.

“I will make you regret that.”

“Oh shit.” Alex laughed.

“Try me. I may be a virgin but I'm sure I can take you up the ass without begging for you to stop… or keep going for that matter.”

“So that is the bet?” The grin he wore only expressing half of his pleasure. “See if I can get you to beg?” John nodded, suddenly at a loss of confidence. “Oh, game on- as Alex would say.”

Alex made the first move, almost falling off the bed in an attempt to get his shirt off, followed quickly by his jeans. “Come on, come on, come on-” he begged, pulling at John's clothes.

“ _Mon Chou,_ what is the matter with you tonight?”

“I haven't gotten laid in a week, and if I don't soon, my balls might actually fall off.”

“Fair enough. I am sorry about that, lately I have not been up to it.”

“S’okay Laf, but I'm glad you're feeling it tonight-”

John and Lafayette stripped to the bare minimum next to Alex, both him and John situating themselves at Lafayette's disposal. They were the perfect pictures of submission, grinning on their knees, hands in their laps, and heels digging into the asses. Lafayette ran his fingers under their chins, before pausing.

“I do not suppose you have any lube?” John shook his head, disappointment crossing his features.

“Ah shit, and the doors are already locked…” Alex commented, a similar expression wearing his features.

Lafayette only smiled, “I can still make you both beg for it.” He pulled Alex's hips, forcing him to bend forward. He twisted his legs around, keeping he head near the bed. After a moment he just picked him up, then gently set him back down, lips level with the bulge in John's pants. “You know what I want you to do.”

Alex nodded eagerly, pulling his own underwear off, feeling much too tight already. His cock sprung free, already wet with precome and hitting his stomach. He latched onto the material guarding John's cock, wetting the outside best he could, nuzzling for the head. John gasped, mouth falling open with the new feeling, pressing his hips up slightly.

“Get him very wet, _Mon Chou_ , I will need him ready soon.”

Alex grinned, licking up to the waistband. John shuddered. He snagged it with his teeth, somehow getting it below his balls before using his hands to rip them off completely. It took Alex by surprise, seeing it red and swollen, so used to seeing his or Laf's- their skin slightly darker- the flush of it making his face heat.

John must've took the pause as a bad thing, closing his legs around Alex's head as an attempt to hide it, “What's wrong?”

“Absolutely nothing.” He gushed, opening his mouth.

John should've felt more self conscious, but this wasn't the first time he's been naked before someone. He's had plenty of guys over at his house, even some girls before he really knew, but they never got to the thing they most wanted to do. John would always chicken out, feeling dirty, unclean, watching his arousal fall in the moment. He couldn't shake away his father's awful voice telling him he was a monster, a sinful creature, unable to bring himself to do it.

But here, he felt free. It was an act of _defiance_ here, he felt proud here, happy, excited, trusting these not-so-much strangers at his most vulnerable.

“Come on-” John pressed his hips into Alex's face, slipping his cock between his parted lips.

“Begging already?” Lafayette mocked with a grin, running a hand over himself. He squeezed at his base, John watching with fascination as it thickened.

“N-not even close.” He gasped, Alex's tongue running along the underside. His mouth was warm, wet, moving in ways his hand couldn't. It wasn't like anything he'd felt before, but that wasn't really a wide array anyway, feeling the way Alex's mouth clenched around him. “Oh, _fuck_.”

“Just wait, _Mon Cher,_ until you have actually fucked someone. If you think that feels good, it will be ten times the better.”

John's wasn't exactly sure how it could get any better. Alex's mouth worked like magic, twisting and sucking, his tongue doing something completely different. He felt his body tense up, moving his hand to the base of his cock and squeezing. He brought his other hand to his mouth to cover the obscenely loud noises. He thrusts his hips again, unable to help it, eyes almost popping out of his head when the head hit the back of Alex's throat. Alex swallowed around it, the warm wetness enclosing his most sensitive part.

“ _Ah_ -” he had to remind himself not to beg. But it all felt too good, his hand the only thing keeping him from spilling down Alex's throat. His cock jumped at the thought. “ _So good_ Alex- shit-”

With Alex working wonders between his legs, Lafayette crouched over his chest, cock springing against his toned stomach. For a moment John thought Lafayette was going to make John give him a blowjob, watching the way he lowered his body over his like he didn't want to break him. John's never exactly given someone head before, but he was feeling desperate, small, around them. He wanted this proximity and he _really_ wanted it in his mouth. He wanted to lick the precome beading at the head, the wetness of his shaft. He opened his mouth, like an offer to Laf, laying his tongue out for a taste.

But it never came. “You are cute.” Lafayette chided, bending over and pressing a sloppy kiss to his open mouth. John took it either way, letting his tongue lick around what he could before Lafayette pulled away. He watched a smirk form on his features, Lafayette's thumb keeping his jaw from closing. “Suck.” Was all he said before those long, slender fingers were shoved down his throat.

He gagged immediately, suddenly hyper aware of the pace Alex was pulling him into his throat. _How was he not choking-_ licking around the fingers. He assumed his spit would be used as a makeshift lube, getting them as slippery as he possibly could.

Lafayette pulled them out easily, looking at his glossy skin before reaching behind _himself_.

John wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't _that._ His eyes fluttered shut, releasing a deep groan, slipping both in with ease. Alex's eyes went wide, coughing around John before popping off with a gasp.

“Oh, please- I've only been able to top you _once_! Let me do it tonight! Please-" Alex begged, hands running nervously over John's thighs.

“Possibly. For now, replace me on John. He is rather built too, so do not be afraid to rest yourself.” Alex scrunched his nose but decided to take what he had. He said possibly, and that was better than no. He lifted from between his legs, watching Lafayette pull out his dirtied fingers, switching with Alex. “Let him suck you, Alexander.”

Alex grinned into John's shifting eyes. “Don't worry, I'll go easy on you.” He taunted, sitting down on his chest. He lined up with John's pressed closed lips, cock head leaking onto his chin.

“Doesn't mean I'll go easy on you.” He sneered before cracking his jaw. He swallowed immediately, prepared or not, he focused on licking around the head, pleased with Alex's surprised moans. He may not have gotten Laf's, but Alex's met the expectation all the same. He hollowed his cheeks, letting his tongue glide over the salty precome Alex was giving him.

“Ah- you say you're a virgin but you damn right know how to use your mouth.” Alex moaned, giving a thrust to his hips. A please smile lifted his cheeks when John didn't gag, taking him gratefully. He swallowed hungrily, glad something was finally in his mouth. “I'm going to come real soon if you keep that up.”

“Try to not-” Lafayette had moved, only slightly lower on John's body, “For if you do, both of you will not be able to fuck me.”

They both had to do a double take, Alex spinning frantically at the words, Alex's mouth letting him go. He barely had enough time to catch his breath before Lafayette, stretched and pampered, was lowering himself down onto his spit soaked cock.

When Alex said he had only topped Laf once, it was no exageration. John was floating, his head blown too far for any of them to handle. Lafayette was _tight_ , squeezing him in all the right places, and even the ones he'd never known about before. He cried out at how effortlessly Laf took him, sinking his heat down in practiced movements, curling his hands over John's abdomen.

“You fill me so well.” He sighed, moving his hips up the slightest.

Even the smallest movements became triggering, John trying desperately not to force his hips up, letting Laf stay in control. But _fuck,_ it was hard. He felt too good, body shivering and moaning a mess of words none of them could hear.

“I don't even care anymore, I thought _you_ were going to fuck _me-_ well I guess you still are, but _shit-_ ” he babbled, eyes rolling into the pleasure shooting up his spine in spasms.

“Begging?” So thickly twined with french, suave and sleek, John wanted to slap his perfection right off. But he wanted much more the curl up and let Lafayette care for him in more ways than one.

“Yes! I'm begging! I need you to move- just _please_ , _fuck_ -” he gasped, biting his lip to keep from rambling further.

“Wait just one moment longer, my precious little one.” John didn't notice the sweet hint his voice took, suddenly caring and sweet. Maybe, somewhere in the back of his mind he took it down, keeping calm with the extra effort to baby him. “Alexander, I did say you could top.”

Alex's eyes went so wide, squealing. “You want _both_ of us?” Eyes shimmering with delight.

“It would be ideal, yes.” Lafayette shifted, drawing a long whine from John. “But if you keep running your mouth, John might come before you even get the chance.”

Alex scrambled behind him, steadying both of them while Lafayette bent over John's body. John shook in a dazed effort not to come, wrapping his arms around Lafayette's neck.

He took behind him, running a finger over their connection. “So pretty…” he watched Lafayette move with a groan, showing more and more of John's aching cock.

“Do not take long. I can take you.”

“You don't want my fingers?”

“I do…” Lafayette slid back down, “Just not so… thoroughly.” He bent his hips again, another moan cracking from John.

Alex complied, slipping in his already wet pointer, grinning at the feeling.

“So tight… you're gonna feel so good babe.”

Lafayette laughed. “Of course I will. Another, I can take more.” Alex complied. Soon he was shoving three fingers up his ass, then pulling them out to John's defenselessness, threatening to come if Alex didn't stop teasing him.

“You ready?” They both nodded, Lafayette still poised and perfect on a rattled John, mind spinning in the glory of it all.

Alex lined himself up and drew in a breath. He snaked a hand around Laf's torso for support, his other one finding his cock, the head teasing them. He pressed in slightly, almost screaming at the pressure it provided on his overteased, underused cock. “Shit, guys.”

He was quick, pushing the rest in until it was squeezed in next to John's, both desperately holding their breaths. Alex wrapped both arms around him now, biting into his shoulder to keep from blowing it all then.

“M’not gonna last!” He whined, thrusting his hips slightly. John yelped, tears spilling down his cheeks unceremoniously. None of them really knew when they started, only realizing when he became grabby for attention, jerking his hips. Lafayette gasped, Alex moaning at the increased friction, reaching around Laf to wipe the tears. “Baby boy…” he grunted, building a steady pace.

It took a toll on both of them, Lafayette's breathing become short and breathy, panty and needy next to John who was gasping like they were holding him underwater. He felt like it too, swimming in a pool of pleasure, going so deep he was only swallowing mouthfuls of shocking euphoria.

He's never felt the way he did, he couldn't even _imagine,_ it was too good. Lafayette was so _tight_ and Alex so _thick_ , sliding next to him creating the most perfect friction. His heart was pounding so fast and loud, it was the only thing he could focus on to keep from drowning, waking up with the sounds of their moans.

Or maybe it was his moans.

He didn't know, or care, letting his jaw rest with loud gasps. Lafayette grabbed for something, and soon he realized his eyes were closed, opening them back up to the most beautiful sight.

Alex was thrusting, hips shaking with a wildness as he thrusted in and out, hair falling over his eyes and open mouth. His eyes had rolled back long ago and his legs were long, stretched out against the mattress for more pressure. Lafayette was just as much of a mess, though John couldn't have been any better, urgently taking John's hand and pushing it between their bodies to dip under his legs. He took the hint, thumbing over the precome and using it to lube up his shaft, pulling and twisting.

He knew Lafayette was close by the way he moaned and whined, biting into his skin. He knew marks would be left, and if he'd still been at home it would have terrified him, but here he _wanted them_. He wanted people to see, to know that he was claimed. He was theirs.

“I'm yours…” John whined, hugging Lafayette for more skin contact. “I'm yours!”

“ _Yes!”_ Alex hissed, “Our sweet baby boy, so thick, filling Lafayette right up.” Another thrust, another moan.

“ _Oui_ , making us feel so good.”

“Good, good, good, _good!_ ” He chanted lost to the sensations.

He must've grasped his hand harder than he meant to, because soon Lafayette was coming between their connected stomachs, gluing them with his seed. His already tight hole clenched around them, making it unbearably perfect, their movements stopping. Neither could pull out, and neither wanted to, finally brought to their sought releases.

Alex groaned so loudly John would've thought he wanted everyone to hear them, or at least he would've if he could think. His hips stilled, teeth sinking into the solid purple marks he's already made on Laf. A wetness flooded around them, threatening him with the new pressure of it being trapped between them caused. It seeped around his walls, only forcing more from John.

Pleasure crashed around him, drowning him in wave after wave of the most powerful storm he's ever been caught in. He too shot into Lafayette, the latter groaning in approval, feeling Alex pull out with an unflattering squelch.

Lafayette eased off him, both tired and oversensitive, pulling John into his embrace. Alex snuggled into John's other side, nobody deciding the mess worthy enough to be taken care of.

“You guys won't leave me in the morning… right?” John yawned hesitantly, taking Alex's hand and diving into Laf.

“Hell no.” Alex sighed, “You got Laf to take us both, in a matter of minutes. You're a keeper.” Snuggling into John's backside.

“Is not the only reason,” Lafayette bopped him on the nose, giggling. “You are quite cute.”

“Besides,” Alex stated, much more awake. “We've gotta game to win.”


	2. Yeah, You Make The Difference

John's body was stiff.

It felt like an iron bar was laying over him, keeping him trapped down by a warm weight. At first he'd thought it was sleep, he was just tired, completely forgetting about the bodies that laid over him.

Until he tried to get up.

“Stahp movin-” The smaller in the bed stirred, hair sticking out in random directions, eyes squinting at him. “Go back to sleep, it's not even light outside yet.” he groaned, trying to snuggle back into him.

“Come on, Alex. We're practically stuck together with come, let's go wash it off.” John pushed him off, breaking himself away from their bodies. Lafayette hadn't made one noise, could've been dead for all they knew, but John was too focused on the generous amounts of semen stuck to his stomach like dried white paint. “Gross.” He hissed, hobbling over to the bathroom.

Damn he was lucky to have one in his room.

His muscles ached as he walked, sighing when he clicked the door shut and spun the lock. He shucked the shower curtain and pulled to tab to start the shower, making the water much hotter than necessary. He quickly relieved himself before stepping in, biting his lip against the sting.

He bathed in the serenity, the quiet he's never had before. Normal their were several bodies bounding up and down the stairs, racing to reach an already occupied bathroom or to take each other's clothes. There was always someone pounding on a door or screaming, a beat never passed that was silence.

“Open the door John!” It lasted for five minutes. Tops. He swore, jumping when the pounding started beating against the wooden door. “I gotta piss!”

“Shoulda come when I told you!” John laughed back, turning down the spray of the water so he could hear.

“John!” He whined, “That's not fair!” There was a shuffling sound next, the insistent knocking slowing to nothing. He assumed Lafayette woke up when Alex began whispering, the murmurs growing louder.

“John?” A softer knock mixed with Lafayette's french accent.

“ _Oui?_ ” John stepped out of the shower, letting the water run. A steady mist lingered around him, keeping his skin glittery and the mirror foggy.

“Let us in-?” Alex groaned, head connecting to the door. “I'm gonna piss on your floor.” He debated, unsure if that would help him or John more.

“I am so sore-” Lafayette twisted the knob, the lock only allowing it to go so far, “Take care of me, little one, please? And I would rather keep your floor dry.”

John's lip stuck out. He found this way too cute. He hurriedly unlatched the lock, jumping away to steer clear of the invasion

“Come on in, then.”

Alex bounded through first, grunting and ignoring him completely to make a beeline for the toilet, leaving John and Lafayette at the door.

“Are you really that sore?” John took his hand, helping him step into the tub. Even with the constant spray, Laf decided to stay seated on the floor, the needle like rain soothing his aching body.

“ _Oui_.” He choked, letting John step in behind him. “My ass hurts.”

“Poor baby!” Alex gasped, face playing on mock surprise.

“Do not tease me! It has been a while. And I took you _both._ Without lube-”

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry, you're right, it felt fucking amazing.” Alex wrapped his arms around John's waist, kissing his neck. “Turn up the heat.” John compiled, the spray getting stronger with the temperature.

He smiled, sinking down to his knees, peppering Laf's skin with delicate kisses to his jaw and back.

“Can I wash your hair?” John pulled at his dark curls, running his fingers through them.

“ _S'il vous plaît_?” Alex handed him the shampoo, squirting some into John's hand before putting it back. He lathered them up and began massaging his scalp, fingers dancing methodically through his hair. He must've been doing a good job, because soon Lafayette was leaning into it, sighing contently.

“I've never seen him so calm…” Alex mused, pouring soap into his own hands. He ran his hands down John's hips, leaving a trail of suds over them and down his thighs. He dipped between them, around and up his ass, teasing his crack.

“A-alex-” he gasped, a slick finger finding his hole. “S-shit.”

“ _Mon Chou,_ you really probably shouldn't.” Lafayette scolded, looking back at him. “Who knows what will happen today. It is best not to be late.”

“Fine.” They rinsed each other off quickly, drying so Alex and Laf could pull on their old clothes, while John spiffed himself up.

They worked past the line forming in front of the bathroom, John following as the two seemed to robotically maneuver themselves downstairs. It was almost a habit, John felt sorry for what they've had to go through. He followed them into the dining hall, still lost and disoriented by the size of the mansion.

They filed in next to each other, separating themselves into their seats. John shook with nerves, the weight of everything finally crashing down.

Without Alex or Lafayette, John felt too isolated, alone, scared. Sitting in his seat and knowing nobody was coming to fill the one next to him, knowing _why_ was almost too much. He began to shake, hands clenching all too familiarly. _Father's not here. There's nothing to be afraid of._

Except _death_.

He could almost feel his father's shadow, looming over him, ready to smack him until he could breath or beat him until he could see. He could feel his breath, cold, icy, sending shivers up his spine. Tears bubbled in his eyes, breath short and ragged.

He looked up, Alex and Lafayette look torn, glued to their seats in fear of getting up, but wanting to risk everything to hold him. Tell him he was okay.

His chest began pumping too fast, too violent for him to handle-

A foot bumped his.

He looked up, tears threatening to spill. Nobody was in the seat across from him, or the one next to that, but in the third chair down on the opposite side, a girl smiled at him. Her hair was raven black, standing out on her soft pale features, the only sharp thing about her. Her cheeks were rosy, twisted up in a grin.

“It'll be alright.” She whispered, hooking her leg around his. “He's not gonna hurt us.” She sounded so confident, John wanted nothing more than to below her.

“H-how do you know?” He needed this. Needed the consolation.

“We're too good to lose, right?” She winked, another soft smile spreading against her lips. A soft feeling flooded him. This, this feeling, was how he knew she could be trusted. It was that softness you felt around a puppy or kitten, maybe even an older lady, that absolute trust that followed you around them. He could breathe around her, with the constant pressure on his ankle grounding him.“R-right.”

When the people began flooding in around them, she kept him steady against the wave. At some point she had slipped her shoe off, but oddly enough, the warmth of her skin on his only made it better. He could almost pretend Alex was there or Lafayette, soothing his aches and fears.

It didn’t help when everyone was finally there, silence but the empty chair. It wasn’t until that raspy voice entered, sending chills down everyone else’s spines, that anxiety settled around them. Thick, cold, like a blanket of snow.

“Glad you all made it.” was all he said, cloak covering him, before stepping to the side, a buffer, taller guard taking his place.

“This first challenge,” This was the same guard that had beat Alex last night. “Is more or less of a test. To see who creates the best liason, and the worst.”

Alex raised his hand, barely holding his tongue long enough to simply do that. The man nodded, like a teacher beckoning on his student. Alex probably could’ve just spoken, but nobody was willing to take any risks. “So will the rest of the competition be with a team?”

“Yes.” The cloak croaked.

Alex made eye contact with Lafayette, then both to John, “Do we get a choice as to who we would like on our team?” Laf spoke with confidence, trying to seem larger than he was at such a powerful state of submission.

“More or less.”

“And that means…?” Another girl spoke up. She was one of the darker skinned ones, out of the two carbon copies, she was the shorter. Face rounder, softer, hearing her voice was such a put off with the power it immediately.

“It means we will put you with whom you most assassociate with. And you get to make the choice as to who you’d rather save- you or them.” A shiver of shock zapped through them like a lightning bolt. “Let us begin then, shall we?”

…

They were broken into six groups of four, each group taken by a guard, and led into rooms. John fidgeted nervously, wrapping his arms around himself to calm him down.

He was pleasantly surprised when the dark haired girl was placed with him, her hand easing over his tense shoulders and back. She was taller than him.

“Stiff, are we?”

“A’little…” he mumbled, leaning into her touch. They waited for the next people to be called into their section of the dining room so they could be taken.

He watched, a knot tightening in his chest when Alex was pulled up with one of the dark skinned girls, not the one who spoke, but taller, elegance at her peak. She grinned down at him, teeth perfect and demanding with her steady posture. The way she looked at him made him uneasy but he swallowed it down in hopes of seeming less nervous than he did.

Alex's group was taken back, him, the girl, a tall man with curly hair and a southern accent, followed lastly by the smallest girl there. She was the youngest, easiest to tell, her hair brown and curled.

He was slightly shocked, to say the least, when a copy of the smaller girl stood from her chair, having been beckoned to their group. The resemblance was uncanny, watch her strode with practiced steps, stiff and twitchy like making the wrong one word get her killed. He also noticed the way she kept glancing back at one person in the group, not catching who, but catching the stares. _This one had secrets_.

“I'm Eliza, by the way, Eliza Schuyler.” The hand on his back paused, her nails grazing lightly over his neck. She paused and pointed, “All I can say for her is her name is Maria.”

“J-john. Laurens.”

“I saw Alexander come into your room the other night.” Her voice was suddenly softer, yet heavier, full of something that wasn't there before. He felt it out of place to ask but he assumed they had a relationship by the way her hand twitched on his back and her eyes wandered. But she didn't look angry, malicious like an ex would, she just looked pained. He tried to find his voice, defend himself? Apologize? But for what…? His eyebrows creased in confusion, eyes still water it from before. “How can those who barely know each other fall so hard for another?”

_That_ took him by surprise. “I'm sorry-?” He choked, but she only smiled. Something small, sad.

“I'm not here to warn you. Tell you he's a fucker, a player, in it for himself-” John opened his mouth, ready to defend Alex when he realized- he knew nothing about him. How could he defend someone he just met to someone who's known him forever? But it wasn't necessary, mouth snapping shut, “because he's not.”

His eyes shot up, so many questions swimming in them.

“He's the most caring person I've ever known. When we dated, he thought of every last thing, every small detail.”

“When did you guys-”

“Break-up? _Last night_.” John almost threw up.

“Oh my shit- I'm sorry- I-I-”

He was saved from the stuttering mess he was becoming by her giggles, “Before you came.”

“Oh.”

“I just… I saw the way he looked at you, during dinner, and before. He really likes you John, he didn't even look at me like that. You don't want to lose him, just promise me you won't break his heart.”

“I-I'm more afraid of him breaking mine.”

“Don't be. That's what brings me back to my initial question.” She put her hand back on his back, John noticed how perfect her nails were.

They held their breath as the girl with the secrets stepped forward and into their small spaced circle. Eliza's breath hitched, the hand on his back tightening around his shirt. He gazed up at her, only to find her sights occupied. He'd never seen someone so helplessly falling apart.

Then slowly, her lips barely moving, she whispered, “Is it possible to fall in love with someone you barely know?”

…

John almost died in relief when Lafayette was yanked to his side, clinging together like magnets. He introduced him to Eliza, who stayed linked to his side, sandwiched between the two in comfortable silence. Soon the two began chatting over him, but he was focused on the racing of his heart and the uncomfortable burning in his pit.

Something about this place made him uneasy, something floating in the air that made him want to curl up and away. But the other part wanted nothing more than to storm into that room with his head held high, and win over that fucking bastard.

They lead them into a room, with four identicals at its sides. Inside the room was nondescript. White walls decorated with a picture here and there, a blood red carpet under an oak table with four chairs around them. They were all ushered into a chair, suddenly feeling strapped down under the gaze of there watchers. He could feel a camera too. Somewhere behind him, something buzzed to life, blinking in the reflection of the picture.

“After your first two tests, you will be joined by another group. Two more tests will then take place. Then you will be assigned groups.”

Lafayette took John's hand under the table, fingers lacing in the dark of the room. Only a golden lamp in the corner of the room lit the room, casting it into more shadows then light.

“Test one.” A cold voice slithered from the darkest point in the room.

John couldn't help but burn with fear, the voice wrapping around his mind like a snake, the coils tightening around his skin. He burned to stand, leave, take Lafayette and run, but he was too scared to even do that. So he watched I'm frozen silence as a machine and a box were brought into the room, side by side, and on the other side of the doors- a click sounded.

“This…” he pulled the box onto a table with a clink, “Is a game.” They nodded, John snaking his hand into Laf's under the table. “But centering yourself will only get you so far.”

They paused. Actually paused, and took a breath, and saw people. Other people who could be _hurt_ , or even just scared.

“Let's start with Eliza.” They all jumped when a box was thumped in front of her, a gasp passing her lips. They didn't dare make a noise, focusing on her shallow gulps for air. “Would you rather do what it says in the box, or make Maria do it?”

The attention sprung from her to Maria, who looked warily at the box.

“Wouldn't that depend on what's-”

“Isn't that for you to figure out?”

John's never seen so many heads turn at once. He personally didn't see the reason for such a shock, watching a smug smile bound through the door. He already hated the body that followed, arrogant cockiness surrounding him, breathing it like air, it seemed to be the only thing he was capable of showing. The pride he owned made John's body steam, like this guy thought he already knew everything there was to know- and the way he _spoke_ made John want to choke himself with his own two hands.

“Lee?!” Lafayette stuttered, hand tightening.

“The one and only.” The man took a bow, not a crease left on the white tux. “I would’ve thought at least _one_ of you would have figured it out by now.”

John turned to Lafayette for an explanation, but it would never come. He was too engrossed by the man, face curled in a smile that reminded him of the Cheshire Cat, but his teeth were sharper, his face harder. Eliza’s foot had dropped from his, Maria’s body visibly paleing at whatever unarticulated thought was roaming around the room.

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” It sounded so crass, rolling of John’s tongue like a threat. In all honesty, he did want to know, he wasn’t questioning his power. He assumed that wouldn’t be the best thing to do.

“My name is-”

“Charles Lee.” Lafayette finished, “Number Eleven.”

“I can speak for myself, _peasant_ .” Lafayette’s fingers curled tighter,blood boiling. It wouldn’t be as animalistic if it had come from anyone _but_ Lee, but any term he’d given, even a nice one, wouldn’t hit him just as hard. “Beside, I’m not even supposed to be here. I just want to have a little fun.” He turned to the guard, standing tall and still, stiffer than before. Lee motioned to the box on the table and the machine in the corner, grinning with a pointed finger. “Put this away for now. I have something better.”

They were most surprised when the man _listened_ to him. “What gives you the right to-” Laf silenced himself at the request of John, kicking him in the shin. He really must learn how to hold his tongue.

“Do you _still_ not understand?” He laughed, turning to Maria, “Even the whore has it under wraps.”

“She’s not a whore.” Eliza’s eyes darkened, chair screeching as she stood.

“And you believe this, _why_ ?” She didn’t stand to the boast, teething sinking into the red flesh of her skin, eyes remaining hard and cold. But Lee took her silence to point, “That’s what I thought.” He clapped his hands together, “How about you spell it out for frenchy? Make sure to speak slowly so he catches it. Eliza fell back into her chair. “No? How about you, Red?” Maria said nothing, “All it’ll take for me to end your life right now is a _snap of my fingers_.”

“He’s his son.” Her voice was _beautiful_ , John noticed first. Melodic and lustful, she sounded like she could lure in sailors, tear them apart, and leave them stranded in the night. A shiver passed through him. Something about her lack of speech, the fact that she _didn’t_ want this power, this control, made his mind spin. He spun back to reality when she blinked, slow, careless, perfect red lips opening again, “This is The Man’s son. He has just as much control over us as _He_ does.”

He, The Man, the one trapping them here- this was his flesh and blood, about to propose something just as sickening.

“I decided to come… check up on you.” Lafayette blew out a breathe, his way of saying he finally understood.

“You were to spy.”

“Ding, ding, ding!” Lee pretended to hit a bell in the air.

“But why?” Eliza shifted around, hands fidgeting. John could relate.

“So I could… understand my subjects.” Lafayette scoffed at ‘subjects’ but otherwise, stayed silent. “Like how our dear Eliza still has feelings for that Alexander.”

Three pairs of eyes met in the middle, one pair terrified, the other two worried.

“Our how Lafayette has yet to understand the true meaning of helplessness and poverty. Rich fool, you could never understand what it’s like the crawl from the sewers like a rat, praying for everything you have, unless someone _makes you_.” There was a pause, “Or how our dear Maria, has already gone to extensive lengths to make sure her secret doesn’t get out. How far would she be willing to go?”

It was degrading, to hear him talking to no one in particular, but completely ignoring the subject. Like you were nothing but air, dull, invisible, useless, air.

“I would like this group in particular to understand _one_ thing.” He rested his hands on the table, hearing it creak with the effort of holding him. Still it stood, like it too was under his command. “Only one person will leave this building at the end of the game. What you take from it, will surely define you.”

The words sent an unwelcomed chill throughout the room, the temperature dropping until the hair on his arms stood, goosebumps tingling on his skin. He shivered, bile rising in his throat.

“You will not tell anyone. I assure you, whomever decides to defy me will be treated as they should. Let’s see who cracks under the pressure first.”

…

Lafayette and John walked hand in hand back to the last room on the right. Nothing was said, but everything was spoken. They way the moved, deliberately slowing, scared, hoping Alex would be back, or possibly hoping he'd stay away so they don't blurt anything they shouldn't. John was terrified. The only reason he wasn't falling apart at the seams this very second was because they way Lafayette's fingers crossed his was stitching those rips right back up, leaving nothing but skin for him to bear.

He choked down the gag near the base of his throat, threatening to break free and spill over the neatly polished hallway. Too polished. The carpet was gone, and replaced, the floor underneath sleek too. He could tell, the way beat in footprint were no longer prominent, looking like they were the first to crack it's perfection.

It could only make him wonder what caused the change.

Laf pulled his hand out, reaching for the golden doorknob, his fists shaking. John steadied him, placing a palm over his so they could open it together.

They almost lost it all, something strong smacking them across the face, blowing them around. It took John an eternity to realize they'd been attacked by _smell_ , so strong and absolutely _arousing_.

His mouth began to water, both grips loosening in the spell they'd been caught in. He could feel the possessiveness creeping, crushing his spine and forcing Laf through the door so he could shut it behind them. Whatever was creating the smell was _his_ and he didn't want to share.

They turned around the small corner created by the bathroom, dick twitching in his pants and all thoughts lost at the sight.

Alex sat naked, two pillows pressed between his bare legs and a pair of underwear jumbled in his palm, stuffed against his nose and pulled away between every musky inhale. His body looked like it was _burning_ , standing out so prominently _red_ to match his arousal pointing up on his stomach, just as dark, slathering precome across his stomach. His eyes were closed, eyelashes glistening with the wetness leaking from his eyes and staining his face, the tears making John's body boil with need.

His eyes shot open when they approached the bed, dried come covering the dark sheets.

Those had been changed while they were gone, from perfect white to a dark red, maroon color, like poisoned blood.

He dropped the underwear, no shame to been seen, reaching out for them both. He ground his hips into the mattress, hissing, but in pain.

“Hurts!” He sobbed, more tears falling from his eyes. “Gone too long! Need you- need you now!” He cried, finally succeeding in pulling John into the soaked mattress with him. The sheets were marked with sweat, come, arousal, all mixing into a concoction over the covers, cock thickening in his jeans. There was also something else, something he didn't understand, something he couldn't describe.

He shook it off, deciding he probably didn't smell any better, covered in the cold soaked sweat he'd accumulated throughout the day. Lafayette eased down next to him, a hand finding the small of his back.

The touch was like a lightning strike, making Alex's body shoot up and stiffen, a long moan falling from his open mouth. His hand abandoned John completely, falling into Laf and off the saturated pillows, humping Laf's stomach.

“ _Mon Chou_ , what is going on? Do we need to find a doctor for you?”

“S-said it was safe!” He bit into Laf's shoulder, through the material of his shirt and inhaling.

“Said what was safe, baby girl?” John cooed. Like he'd forgotten John was there, Alex shot up suddenly needed the attention from him, flopping into his lap. He brought his own hand down to touch the tip of his cock, but recoiled instantly, hand retreating.

“T-they i-i-injected me with s-something- _hah_ -” he paused, thrusting his hips over John's leg. He wrapped his arms around John's neck, getting easier friction from the position. “W-with whatever this is.”

“Alex, baby, what's going on?”

“T-told me either inject myself o-or A-Angie. I-i couldn't do that t-to her.”

Lafayette and John exchanged a look, letting the subject drop instantly.

“What do you need, honey?”

“I-I n-need _more_. H-hand isn't e-enough.”

“You need… sex.”

“ _Please._ ”

“Alex… baby girl, how long have you been like this?”

“ _Hours, John!_ Please just touch me! Waited so long- Can't wait anymore!” Laf's eyebrows shot up, climbing over the bed.

Slowly he spread Alex's thighs, John holding his hips still so he didn't try to buck up. He ran a single finger over the underside of Alex's cock, and again, he cried out in pain.

“The skin is chafed, we can not let you keep going…” Lafayette soothed, hand twirling on the thickness of his leg. Alex all but fell apart, heart hammering as the touches sent shocks of pleasure through him.

“Have to! Please! It burns- I _need_ more-” They kept his legs spread, scared he'd only hurt himself further if he could rub them together, back arching away from John.

“Baby, calm down, we'll figure this out. Why don't we go take a bath and see if it helps-” John stuttered, struggling to keep Alex under control.

“No!” He cut him off, “Like the smell, like the mess, stay-!”

“Baby girl, please…” John parted his lips, connecting them to the soft, sweaty, flesh of Alex's neck. “You're hurting…”

“Couldn't let this happen to Angie…” he sobbed again.

Lafayette and John stared at each other, keeping Alex's shaking body spread out. Lafayette pulled John's knees between Alex's so his would stay spread out when Laf removed his hands, already headed for the door.

“I must grab something, keep him occupied.”

John nodded, already flipping Alex over. He gasped, back smacking into the bed and his head hitting the wooden frame, but he couldn't care less, mind to melded by lust.

“I'm gonna suck you off, 'kay baby girl? Gonna make you come, alright?”

“Yes!” Alex thrusted his hips, cock aching for attention, “please, I'll be good, touch me, _suck my desperate cock!_ ” John wasn't even the slightest taken aback, utterly helpless to the sensations. He swallowed Alex in an instant, sighing through his nose. Alex bucked up with relief, John's wet mouth soothing on the friction burns, keeping him sane. “Thank you- _fuck_ \- feels so- so- _good_.”

John refused to run his tongue over the length, merely wetting the skin as to provide some sort of easier barings for him. Alex leaned back against the bed, John's hands finding his hips and working their way up his back. He hoped Alex enjoyed the moment he was given to rest from the unquenchable thirst to need someone with him at all times, content with just feeling John's mouth around him.

“B-burns.” He whispered, tears slipping down his checks. John didn't respond, only licking around the head long enough to draw out a moan. His hands dances over Alex's back, finding the lower part and digging his fingers into the skin. It left red marks, but he soothed over the tense muscles, working out the knots as he held him in his mouth. Anything to ease him. “John please.” He whimpered.

John swallowed around him, teasing up at him through his lashes. He smiled around his thickness, feeling Alex quiver with delight. He continued to rub his back when Alex began thrusting, accompanied by the slam and lock of a door to finally signal Laf's return.

John jumped to action at the sound, deciding to finally give Alex a break and another orgasm before Lafayette tried to push and pull for more.

He hollowed his cheeks, taking Alex as far as he could before sucking him like a lollipop. Licking around the head and over the slit to collect the pearly liquid dripping onto his tongue. In no time, Alex was arching off the bed, Lafayette gathering him in his arms behind him as he popped off in John's mouth- who swallowed it greedily.

“There baby-”

John swallowed again, eyes meeting Alex's hard-on. Still red and twitching for contact. Alex blushed, whining and turning into Lafayette's arms.

They were more than surprised when Alex started shaking and soon they realized he was _crying_ \- and not just desperate crying but genuinely scared, upset, crying.

John's heart leapt, face softening where Lafayette's hardened with determination and love, squeezing him tighter. When Alex began the twisted motions of his hips again, Laf stilled them, tossing John to lube.

“Please help him, little one.”

John nodded, setting the lube to the side and pulling Alex's legs.

“Noooooo-” His voice cracked, keeping his arms secured around Laf. Their hearts shattered at the broken sob, both hands stopping. “No more…” he cried.

“Alex, baby, no more what?” John scooted closer, Alex's face in Laf's lap and his ass in John's.

“C-can't come- no more- too many-”

Lafayette chewed his lip. “Alexander… how many times have you come?”

“ _Eight!_ ”

“Eight?!” John spluttered, eyes bulging. “Honey-”

“I can't- need to!” Alex cried again, tears wetting Laf's pants.

John ran his palms over the spread of Alex's thighs, squeezing the soft flesh. “Shh, baby it's okay.”

“Oui, I have an idea, if you'd like to try it.” Alex began nodding frantically, both unsure as to whether her actually heard the question or not. “John, do you know how to make tea?”

“...Tea?” Lafayette hummed, Alex curled into a ball, away from there hear, there touches. “Uh, yeah, I guess.”

“Please do that. I am going to start a bath.” The authority ringing through his voice made him shiver, watching as he picked up the shivering Alex and carried him to the room’s bathroom.

John walked to the door a little warily. He'd be fine, right? This was just a free range time, so they couldn't do anything to him. Not now.

He opened the door, speeding down the stairs like a kid would run up from the basement after the lights shut off, ready to get what he needed and leave. He felt he should've been more surprised to see multiple people occupying the living room nestled by the front door, chatting idly about the their challenges.

He crept by, hoping the squeaky floorboards wouldn't be too much of an alert to the people wrapped around each other on the floor, but alas, his face was quite recognizable compared to the others, especially to the ones who knew his name.

“John!” Eliza waved her hand through the air, motioning for him to come over. “I'd like you to meet my sisters.” Her voice wavered slightly, but was covered rather quickly.

The two darker skinned girls looked up from around her, tired, the carbon copies smiled lazily, “I'm Angelica- and this is Peggy.” The older waved, followed by a quip from the smaller.

John eyes lingered for a second too long on the older. He felt his face heat up, recalling Alex, _I couldn't let them do that to Angie_. What was going on upstairs right the very second, and how degrading it must have been for Alex to have to go through the with people around him, watching him break down because he needed a little help. He chewed the inside of his lip,

“John.” He said, “but I've got to go grab something… for Alex.” He replied swiftly, moving from Eliza to Angelica.

Her eyes unfocused, the gathered back on him, eyebrows creasing.

“I'm going to use the bathroom.” John heard her say, but he was already headed to the dining room.

He stepped through swinging doors, closing his eyes against the flashes, the sound of a gunshot, paleing significantly. He swallowed the wave of nausea that followed, stepping around the now cleaned area like poison was dripping from the carpet. He took a mug off the set table, finding the small buffet counter he remembered seeing before, filled with drinks like coffee, hot chocolate, and teas, reminding him of a hotel’s breakfast bar.

He chose a tea specifically for ease, heating up water with a coffee maker. He almost couldn't hear the padding of soft slippers against the floor, but damn those floorboards.

“You're mad at me.”

Authority oozed from her voice, and John tried not to think if Lafayette and what authority did to him.

“I don't even know who you are.”

“And yet you still are.”

John hissed, spinning around on his heels, “Do you have a problem with me?” He stared at Angelica, her black leggings and pink tank top making her look like a movie star, a hand on her hip and _Bitch_ slapped in glitter over her breasts.

“Not with _you_ .” Laf didn't quarrel with anyone. He practically radiated peace through decisions, keeping the good separated from the _needs work_.

“Alex took a bullet for you! He's up there going through literal hell and you're _mad_ at him?” John could feel his face heating up, digging his palms into the corner of the counter. _Don't get mad_.

“He really isn't one for degrading himself for others, you know.”

“What-”

“If you want to talk about dodging bullets, _I_ took one for him first. The only reason he's like that is because I've got a smidge of dirt I wouldn't mind sprinkling over you guys.”

“So blackmail.” John countered, turning around. He tried not to let the words sit awkwardly. She was just trying to make him turn, get more people on her side, _win_. He furrowed his eyebrows, pouring the water over the teabag.

“Wow, he's got you wrapped around _tight._ ” She laughed, “Hope his finger does fall off.”

“What's your problem?!” John's fingernails dug crescents into his skin.

“Alexander Hamilton is _fucked up_. Love’s not in his vocabulary, but it's still pretty extensive. Don't let him woo you with words. Words mean nothing.”

“You dated him, didn't you?” His voice was softer, the hate filtering through his fingers and into his bleeding palms. “That's why you're so bitter?” He turned around, “You could stand to be more like your sister. You're just _petty_.”

Angelica stiffened. “I don't want to be like her.” She spit, “ _She's_ the petty one. You really don't know anything, do you?”

“You can't be believe people here. You can _not_ hear their words and take them to heart because they will _poison_ you.” A long painted nail stabbed into his chest. “The only person here you can trust is Maria.”

“Maria-?” The one he obviously declared to be keeping secrets. “Why-”

“Maria doesn't talk. Nothing to hear, nothing to believe.”

…

When John stumbled back up the stairs, half the people left the couch and were now locked in their own rooms. He could make out the distant spray of a shower along with multiple voices, balancing the tea and clambering back into his bedroom.

He opened the door, the smell of sex just a step up from what accumulated in the hallways, finding Alex perched over Laf, the bathroom steaming.

“F-f-fuck!” Alex cried, bouncing on Laf's cock. Lafayette looked smug, while Alex was broken down to tears again, hiccuping with every gasp and every strike of Laf's thickness against his prostate.

John set down the tea in the bathroom, praying the heat would kept it warm. He scooched over the bed, pouring what seemed like a gallon of lube over his palm and pulling at Alex's red cock, slapping against his belly. Lafayette groaned, Alex's hole fluttering prettily around him.

“J-John…” he whimpered, giving a last squeeze. They milked the smallest bit of come out of him before he couldn't take it anymore, collapsing on Lafayette whose come was now dripping out of Alex's hole.

“We've got you.” He tried not to make it sound cold, pushing away the girls words. “I've got you.” They were crazy ex's. His Alexander wasn't sure like that.

John stripped, settling into the bathwater, Laf carrying Alex following. He set him in John's lap, basking in the way he curled up, desperate for attention. When Lafayette stepped out to rummage through John's bag for clothes, John snuck up on his chance.

“Alex?” He groaned, listening. “Angelica talked to me today…”

Water sloshed around them when Alex shot up, eyes wide.

“What did she say.”

“You're hiding stuff.” He mumbled, tears beginning to creep. He's been so _sure_ when he met Alex, so sure he was perfect, the one, and he felt so _comfortable_ with him and Laf around.

“Please John-” he was _begging_ now, only proving John's point further. “I… I am, but-”

“Alexander, how are you supposed to defend that?”

“I'm not, I'm not-" he babbled, “I know I'm keep secrets, but I just _can't_ tell you, _anyone_. Please, just give me more time… and I promise, I'll tell you everything- please- just believe me.”

His ramble stopped when he turned around, eyes holding something dark… yet sincere. _Fuck me_ , John thought before sighing.

“I'm sorry… it was stupid… I just- I just don't know where to stand here, or what to do… I feel lost and I can't trust anyone here and everyone's telling me something different-”

Alex cut of his ramble with a small kiss, pecking his sweet lips. “After this fucking game is over, we're going to sit… somewhere normal- like a coffee shop-”

“Normal.” John echoed,

“-and me, you, and Laf are going to talk-”

“Talk about what?” Lafayette whispered, sulking in with a sated grin and no clothes.

“ _Everything_.” Alex emphasized.

“You promise?” John whispered into his hair.

“I do.” Alex whispered back.

They let Lafayette's clean them, both of them. Despite John doing almost nothing straining that night, he still felt small, like he needed to be small to process, so he let Alex talk and sip his tea and groan and cry and rut against his stomach when the urge came back, but he did nothing but enjoy it, petting Alex's thighs.

He stole swigs if Alex's drink, warming his throat and Laf washed his hair, then braided both, and ripped the sheets off the bed. He rummaged underneath until he pulled out a complete package of an entirely new bedspread, and John was too tired to wonder how he knew, settling for _he's been here a while and probably knows the ins and outs of everything._

It was a small thought, but so was he, so it sufficed.

Lafayette made the bed and snuggled the two in, draining the water before nestling behind John. John arms wrapped around a sleeping Alex, Lafayette leaning closely, breath making him shiver despite its heat.

“We all have secrets, little one, but do not make your rest any less easy.” He hugged tighter, “Alex does not break his promises, despite the roles and plays and the rules he likes to break.”

John was so close to sleep, but suddenly so far, the hair on his back raising with the final words he could already practically hear.

“It is easy to tell he loves you.”

But that wasn't the scary part, not even close. It was the next part that haunted him.

“You just need to be prepared for his kind of love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll probably be more than 3 chapters tbh, if that's what you'd like

**Author's Note:**

> I just needed to vent.
> 
> In all honesty I don't know when I'll update this because I'm pretending like I don't have seventy other things to write about, but the second chapter is already halfway done so yay! Welcome to hell, please take you're seat and wait for the ride to begin.
> 
> Visit me on tumblr to scream at me or just to get updates on this fic (Cause it's taking a while, sorry)
> 
> Tumblr:[ImmigrantPhenomenon](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/immigrantphenomenon)


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